Satisfaction in Christ

How do I go about becoming satisfied in my relationship with Christ? How do hear his knocking on my heart's door and let him in? My heart is crying out in agony and yet I don't feel His comfort or His voice helping me along life's journey. Rev. 3:20,22 says, " Look! Here I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal as friends. Anyone who is willing to hear should listen to the Spirit and understand what the Spirit is saying to the churches." How do I go about "hearing"? How do I focus on listening? When can I share that meal as friends with my Savior? I know he can and will satisfy our spiritual hunger and thirst, but I don't know how to allow Him access to satiate me. Is it a matter of praising Him? Meditating on him day and night? Is it a conscious effort 24/7 to think on Him? My goal for this week is to follow Ps.63:1 "Oh God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water."

Baby Steps of Success

Well, I have not managed to be successful in all things-namely my attitude, but I've had another moment of clarity(which I posted in a separate post) and will be again working on this problem. My moment of success has come from my exercise/weight loss. Since I posted my first post in Sept. I have lost 15 lbs(technically more like 17-since I put on 2 lbs during the holiday season). So, while I'm not losing as quickly as I was hoping to lose, it is coming off, slowly and surely. This usually helps with keeping it off, when it is a true lifestyle change and not just crash dieting for a few weeks. If I continue to have success equal to how it's been going, I think I should be at my goal weight by the end of Sept of this year, which is a year from when I started this blog, so really I am sticking with my initial goal. Now to get on track with my spiritual life. I am starting to go to a Beth Moore Breaking Free study with a bunch of girls. I really need it to open my eyes to the things in my life that are holding me from becoming the woman God wants me to be. Making time for God has always been difficult for me. I don't pray regularly-either I don't think about it or I feel like I have better things to do with my time, which is soooooo wrong. There is no better thing to do with my time than to spend it talking to God or being in His Word. Making God be a priority in my life will definitely go along way towards getting right with God and being all I can be.

Sometimes I hate myself for the things I say

Have you ever found yourself with a friend you are so comfortable with that you feel free to criticize them more than you would a coworker or acquaintance.? Well, I have such a friend-she is also my roommate-which makes it that much worse. I love her dearly and she is like a little sister to me, yet I don't seem to be able to show the love, I just show the comfort level I feel with her by nagging her about the few things I don't like her doing. It's awful and I have to start praising her more often. I don't like to do soul searching because I don't like to see all the negative things about myself, but recently things have started to make themselves known to be without my doing any searching. I do believe, God is hitting me with a 2 x 4 and more of a sense of a conscience. Ugh! changing your behavior that you didn't realize was so ingrained into is a pain in the butt, but hurting friends is worse!!!