Wow, God has really been drilling into me the fact that my entire life is filled with idols. Too often I hear a sermon or read a passage of scripture about "idols" and immediately picture Buddha or some other stone idol/monument set up for some ancient god. Well, I can certainly check that off my list of things I don't have to worry about. There is not a single stone idol or image of a god in my house-I must be a good Christian. "Not so fast," God says, "what is that big box sitting on the stand in the living room? Don't you sit and stare at it for hours throughout your week? How often do you read the Bible? How often do you talk to me?" If I am spending more hours in my day watching TV, reading my fictional books, checking out friend's statuses on Facebook and finding virtually anything else to do in my day, BUT talk to God or read his word-I have idols in my life. An idol is really just something we spend a large amount of our time thinking about putting all our passion into. Do you know how often I have obsessed about my weight over my life time, but specifically the last two years? I don't even want to begin to count the hours of time I have spent watching TV. And yet, I I have such a hard time praying and talking to God. If I have a choice of catching up on my favorite TV show or reading the Bible-the TV show is probably going to win 9 times out of 10. Somehow, I have to get to the place in my life, where my passion is God. Where the first thing I think about when I wake up is to praise God and thank him for another day (ok, I may never get to that being the first thing, since the first thing is always "I just want to sleep a little bit longer..."). Where I can honestly say, I actually thought about God throughout the day and not only when I realized I was doing something wrong and apologized for it. I don't know exactly how or when I will get to that place in my life, but I pray that it will happen someday.
I heard an interview with Lisa Harper this morning on WNWC 102.5. Lisa was talking about how she works with women who deal with addictions and how they realize their need for help and that they cannot get clean and sober without help. She then compared it to the Biblical story of the paralyzed man by the pool. Jesus asked the man what he needed, even though it was plain to see what the man wanted from him. It was only after the man said he wanted to be healed...to be able to walk, that Jesus said, "Pick up your mat and walk." God knows all our needs, wants, desires.... When we talk to him and tell him all our fears and failures and all about our lives, he's not shocked or surprised by anything. He KNOWS us, better than we know ourselves. He wants us to acknowledge our need FOR HIM. I have to say, God, I need your help.... This is not to say that God never does things without us asking, but I do know, in many cases, He does want us to admit our need or the fact we are in the wrong and then ask for his help!
Maybe someday soon I will actually be able to say I need help and truly mean it from the depths of my soul! I pray it will be soon.
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