Sometimes life sucks! It seems like everything you think you are doing right just seems to fall down around you. You interview for a job and it looks like it is a promising position and everything you are wanting, yet a week later you have not heard from the interviewer. You break a personal record when it comes to distance/time of your walking/running and work out 7 out of 7 days and are pretty careful with what you eat all week. What do you get in return a 2-3 lb gain on the scale. You think you have a roommate lined up, but then she starts to sound like she's backing out or at least will not be moving in as soon as you need her to. In addition to all this, you are still no closer to getting a boyfriend then you were at the beginning of the year, which means the goal of being engaged by Christmas is probably not going to be happening. Oh, and then there is the constant papers I have to write for my classes. My weekends are filled with writing papers and I know I still have about a year left of writing a paper at least 3 out of every 5 weeks.
I don't want to be one of those people that thinks God is out to get me, but sometimes I start to wonder if God really has my best in mind. I don't understand how all the desires I have seem to be things God does not want for me or if he does, he seems to think I must wait for all of my desires to be fulfilled. What is it I am missing? What is God trying to teach me? Is it really all about me finding a true sense of patience? I know my relationship with God is not at an all time best, but really, do all my prayer requests have get the answer "No!"
You know, I find it very weird that in one sense I can be on the verge of tears with the frustration of my life and then in the same breath I am fine and my mind shuts off the complaints and goes on with life. I don't know if this is a coping mechanism or denial. I guess I will just have to keep waiting to see what God has in store. I know he won't give up on me, so I won't give up on him, no matter how depressing my life may seem at the precise moment.
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